Last Wednesday.

On Sunday, I was driving my friend Pie to breakfast, and she said, "So, are you getting excited?" It literally took me about 45 seconds to get that she was not asking about the impending pancakes.

This is not real to me, that this is happening and it is happening soon. I have been getting ready and prepping for so long, that it seems like a vague idea, not something that is really and truly going to happen, in less than two weeks.

That does not seem possible. Two weeks from today, I will be in Tierra del Fuego.

I did a lot over the last week and a half, since I had the whole time off from work. I went through my closet and drawers ruthlessly, and I had to remind myself that there is no getting rid of stuff "before I go." This is later. This is before I go. I ended up with about 4 bags of stuff to give away, and another one that was so run down it went out with the trash, and I still probably have things that I meant to give away "before I go," but it hasn't occurred to me, because this does not seem real.

A lot of my friends were home for the holidays, so I got to see them all, but saying goodbye involved more hugs and "send emails! keep me posted" wishes than normal. Since most of us are spread about the country, I won't be seeing them much less because of this travel than I would otherwise (except for a lovely wedding I am missing in February, unfortunately), but the well wishes were still out in more force. And it was just not possible to think that this was it - the last time I will see them before I leave. I have said most of my goodbyes at this point, save coworkers and family, and it has yet to sink in.

My mom kept thinking yesterday was Sunday, and today was feeling sprightly and made a full hearty breakfast - she told us not to expect the same treatment every Monday. Then she remembered: "...or Wednesday." I asked if I could demand this every Wednesday, since really that was only signing her up for one more Wednesday - the one after that I will be gone. It fleetingly felt real, and sad, in that instance, but it passed.

It's my last Wednesday at work today. I got gas yesterday, for possibly the last time before I leave. Everything from here on out is the last something, before I go.

I cannot believe I am doing this.